My Excuses

Hi, I bought an aromatic candle. It calmness. Feels alive after months in the darkness and unknown grieving. Anyway, I already few hours doing dump writing on my note book. Im tired. So I moved to my study desk. I use my candle to acompany me. See how shinny it is on my desk.  Anyway, after ruin an idea to write, gemini suggest me to copy anything like lyrics, poem or everything that took my attention. Alrignt.. on my way doing tthat while i make this post. hohoho..  BTW I like that songs "Keep your head up, Princess."  When she was younger, she would pretend That her bedroom was a castle, she was fairest in the land And she got older, and it all changed There was no time for make-believe and all the magic slipped away Until the light in her eyes it was all but gone 'Cause all the dreams that she had turned out to be wrong So keep your head up princess 'fore your crown falls Know these voices in your head will be your downfall I know it gets so hard but you don't ...

 It's been a couple of months.  I admitted that I'm wrong. Regardless everything that happened.. I'm the one who responsible for my life. From this I learned a lot. From someone who bring light to help me see things I forgot. A dream, a good memories, everything that I've been trough. Until last these 3 days. I spent my time with a young woman. She know my wounds, one of the person who bring the light to help me see, and knowing what I hope for in my life. Thanks God, through her.. I try to regulate anything that happen in life. We learn a lot trough one on one discussion. We help and try to fix our wounds. We dream together.. Until today, this evening. I was hopeless.. I said sorry to her that I cant make it, to submit something.  I'm gonna say goodbye for a thing and focus to my research, right after I read my Supervisor text. But I open the web and I read that the deadline was postponed again.. until this last month. I feel so grateful. I have something to fight ...

 Hemm emang beneran adik yang belum bisa banggain kakak-kakaknya.. Tapi terima kasih untuk dukungannya. Jadi enggak rasa sendirian.. Kayaknya harus nemuin jalanku sendiri deh.. biar cepet selesai semuanya.. semoga cara/ jalan ini bisa aku pake untuk seumur hidupku. Biar kakak-kakakku juga bahagia punya aku. Anyway tis 10 May again.. Was gloomy.. but I did my things. I going outside again..I dunno what happen tomorrow. I didnt regret myself on the past.. and today is my sister birthday. Hope this give power to me.. I know im not mature enough to handle myself. But okay.. I'll eat "the frog" tomorrw. then do exercise again... I know the most its late.. its same as like I know im getting fat and gain weight.. everyday I realize that. But hope tomorrow is a good day. 

 Hi.. It's been two years. Hey.. btw for babies 97 out there, your 29 era is coming this year.. congrats for it..  I dunno what to response to this age. The more I think about it, the more I far away from getting mature. I am. In any aspect: finance, love, education, lifestyle- eating and myself. LOL. That's hilarious. When I didnt who when to say what I want, when I ask others thoughts about what I need to take, or when I discuss about insight.. but not in the right person, d*mn.. I didnt know at the same time I just put my left feet into a deep depression. This month, I was doubt myself, well even until today. Why I take this path two years ago, if in the end I dont have friends at all. Why I so wrong calculate myself and didnt do SWOT to me about to take that decision, if now I fall for depression and bad person. I know, if my old me see me right now, I gonna angry at me.. or disagree of everything that I did nowadays. I thought, become a yes person or smile to every time p...